catching up

thoughtsRachel Sanders2 Comments

So much has happened over the past few weeks:

  • I turned 30 (insert cake and confetti emojis!)
  • We found out that the owners of our rental house will be selling it when our lease ends in May
  • We put in an offer on a house that was not accepted
  • We put in an offer on a house that was accepted, and are now in escrow (insert Flamenco dancing emojis!)
  • Red (our scruffiest little chicken who sounded like a dove) died in my arms the same day we went under contract on the house
  • We signed a GAZILLION documents telling the home lending company our social security numbers and full tax history and shoe sizes and favorite ice cream flavors
  • I learned what knob and tube wiring looks like (it looks scary)
  • I learned what the inside of a sewer line looks like (surprisingly, it is not filled with water!)
  • I picked up a few new writing gigs that I am SUPER stoked on, and I hope to be able to tell you about at some point.

To say that life has been a roller coaster of events and feelings and activities feels like an understatement (just reading that list makes me feel like I need a nap). Some days I've been weathering everything just fine, but then other days I feel immense euphoria about our (fingers crossed) future house followed by wanting to burst into tears because I'm exhausted, and then not being able to sleep because I can't stop thinking about everything that needs to be done before our move. I have almost completely lost my appetite, and I keep having to force myself to eat breakfast and lunch so I can be a functional person, but nothing tastes like what I want to eat and I don't always feel that awesome afterward. I want life to calm down just a little, if only so that my body calms the F down.


I realized yesterday that I'm going to miss a lot of things about our current house. We've been here for nearly 4 years, and while the house hasn't been perfect (and has, at times, driven us up the wall with its issues), it's chock full of memories and is the place where SO many big life events happened. It's where we brought our chickens home as babies in a little Happy Meal container. It's where we planned our wedding. The stairs are where Lucca used to nap as a puppy, and where he continues to play "stair ball." The hutch in the kitchen is where all of my cookbooks are stored, and the dining room is where I've taken most of my photographs to share with you.

I know that when I walk by the house in the next few weeks, I'm going to feel a twinge of jealousy toward the people who will be living here, making their own memories. I'll wish that I could stop and pick peaches and grapes from the trees and vines we planted during our first summer in Utah. I'll wonder what the owners are storing in the hutch in the kitchen (I bet it won't be as many cookbooks as are there right now). I'll want to curl up with a cookbook on the window seat. And I'll wish that I still lived next to the neighbors who have become some of our closest friends.

But I also know that I can't wait for us to start our life in the new house. I'm excited for EVERYTHING.

Cheers for all that has yet to come. Thanks for being here along the way.